Discovering Vulnerability
I used to have this idea of leadership, kind of like when you are growing up and you think your parents are superheroes. See, my Dad was always my hero, and my Mom was my biggest fan. I still remember the moment I realized they were not perfect. I felt like I had been lied to. It hurt. I always knew what kind of leader I wanted to be because of the unconditional love my parents provided me. Joining the military was always my plan. I am the first woman in my family to join the military and I will be the first to retire from the military. I am PROUD of that!
When I was an Airman, I thought I knew it all and I was just waiting my turn to lead. I thought being a leader was being perfect. I thought being a leader was about having all the answers, and making all the right decisions, and that was what I was going to do. I was so very wrong. As I grew into a leadership role, the pressure of being perfect eventually caught up to me. I again felt like my superhero image had been altered. The cracks started to show, and I had to do a lot of self-reflection. The experience of being faced with this pressure and realizing I was not perfect actually helped me become a better leader. What I learned the most is that there is power in vulnerability.
Being vulnerable can be hard because you are opening yourself up in a way that feels very exposed. It can also hurt. But there are blessings that come from being vulnerable. I will tell you that opening up and being more vulnerable has allowed me to have more meaningful relationships and my connections feel more valuable.
There is an authenticity to vulnerability that gives hope. There are so many intangibles of leadership. While I believe I have progressed so much in the last couple of years, I know I still have work to do. Here are some of the lessons I have learned:
Sometimes we are wrong: There are so many times when we as leaders think we know the answer before we sit down to have those crucial conversations and we are wrong. It is necessary to admit when we are wrong.
All key players need to be present: The easiest thing as a leader is to go to the person that will agree but you have to hear different perspectives. I have learned so much from my Airmen who have not just said, “Yes Ma’am”. Crosstalk is necessary for progress.
Trust: Everything starts with trust and we talk about it a lot but we do not talk about how we build it and maintain it-honesty, fairness, transparency, etc. What our Airmen need from us is not always the same.
Empathy, not sympathy goes a long way: You have to have the ability to place yourself in your Airmen’s shoes to understand. Our Airmen are going through so much that we may not have gone through.
Pause: Pause to respond or think. It is ok to not know the answer right away and come back or need time to make a decision.
Admittedly, I still do not have all the answers. However, I believe that if you operate with the mindset that there is always something to learn, you will find yourself headed in the right direction.
Tabitha Mojica is a Senior Enlisted Leader in the United States Air Force.
She currently serves as the Flight Chief of Nutritional Medicine at Eglin Air Force Base in Florida.
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