Fail Often. Fail Fiercely.
I am proud of my failures and you should be proud of yours. Wait, what? Let me quantify and give some context as to why I would say this by starting with a recent example.
In my workplace, as in many others, you must display breadth of experience and exposure in order to promote. Sometimes that breadth of experience can be found in volunteering for special projects, and often it comes from working in different areas in an organization. Earlier this year, I applied for a promotion to a position that I felt was tailor made for me. I had several years working in the materials inspection and testing division and had developed expertise and specialized knowledge in steel fabrication and welding that I was sure set me apart from others. I knew I had a damn good shot, and I studied and prepared hard for the interviews. I made it through the first two interviews and was in the running for the final 3. Alas, it was not to be. During my post interview feedback, a common theme was my lack of experience outside of the division. They were looking for someone who had worked in other engineering areas.
I took that feedback to heart and started to look for other openings within the organization that I could also apply for. I applied for positions in maintenance engineering throughout the state, in traffic operations, and in construction. I applied for promotional positions as well as lateral positions. I was throwing a LOT of spaghetti on the wall, seeing if anything would stick. I’ve gone through a lot of pasta. I’ve probably applied for and interviewed for a half dozen to a dozen positions in the last 6 months (I’ve kind of lost count), and to date have not yet been picked up. Ironically, the feedback from those of those interviews were my lack of specific expertise for the particular position! I surely don’t find it convenient to fill out multiple applications, and it can be time consuming to write my statement of qualifications to cater to the different requirements that each hiring manager may have. But I still do it and continue to do so, because I have found opportunities to learn more about the organization and expand my network with each failure. I have learned to fail often, and to fail fiercely.
So, what does it mean to say fail often and to fail fiercely? Society often gives us negative messages about failure, so much so, that failure, for many of us, carries with it a stigma of shame and embarrassment. Failure is not typically seen to be advantageous. We often hear phrases such as: “Failure is not an option”, “Second place is the first loser”, or perhaps, as scarred children and adults, we have been told by trusted authority figures that “You are such a failure”. It’s no wonder that so many of us, despite our minds telling us otherwise, still associate failure negatively. Human nature has wired us for the negative bias, and we have an uncanny and self-sabotaging way of focusing on failure as a negative. It takes an immense amount of self-reflection and resiliency to flip this way of thinking. Increasing our ability to self-reflect and be resilient is an exercise like any other. We have to use it, we have to do it often, or we don’t get better at it. What I’m saying is, the more we fail, the more opportunity we have to self-reflect and build our resilience. We get “better” at failing.
“Failing often” means we put ourselves out there for opportunities. We don’t move forward without effort, and it’s a fallacy to think that good thing will happen to those who wait. When we wait, life passes us by. History favors those that go for broke. If we want something, we have to make it happen and can’t play it safe. “Failing fiercely” means knowing that that those opportunities which we have put ourselves out there for may not always work out in our favor but doing so regardless. Failing fiercely means using the outcomes to our advantage and as learning opportunities. It means squeezing every bit of knowledge that we can out of the experience so we can use it in the future. Failing fiercely does not mean that we accept the outcome as status quo and as an excuse for our lot in life, but to use failure as fuel to keep going until achieve our objective.
To date, after each one of these interviews I have received a call back, the voice on the other line will say “We would like to thank you for taking the time, but we regret to inform you that you were not selected”. There is that initial feeling of deflation, but because I believe in failing fiercely, my response is “Thank you for the opportunity. When you have some time, I’d like to schedule time with you to get some feedback on my interview and get your thoughts on what I can improve on in the future.” These feedback sessions have helped me fill many gaps in my knowledge, that I find I now am able to better strategize going forward. Failing fiercely means not giving in to your disappointment and feeling sorry for yourself. It means picking yourself up and turning your failure into a tool that you can use to fuel your future endeavors.
This example is merely a drop in the bucket that is history of my many failures, some astronomical, and some mere pebbles. But the lessons here are still applicable. Failing often and failing fiercely has taught me grace. It has taught me empathy. It has taught me humility. It has taught me grit, and it has made me wiser and stronger.
We all experience failure in our lives, both professionally and personally. Some failures are small, and some profoundly alter our lives. Failure is nothing to be ashamed of, we all experience it. But when we learn to fail fiercely, we learn to overcome any shame that can be associated with failure. When we own our failures, they no longer own us. They no longer have the power to hold us hostage. Every failure leaves a scar. Wear those scars proudly like a badge of honor. They are a reminder for us, and a sign to others, of the effort, the blood, sweat and tears that went into it. You know who has scars? Warriors have scars. Failure does not make you weak. It makes you a warrior.
Editor’s Note: Nina Choy-Rohmiller is an Air Force Veteran. She is the Vice Chair of the American Welding Society Bridge Welding Committee, and Chief of the Office of Structure Quality Management at the California Department of Transportation.